I can't believe I just heard you say that!

      Living in New York City you really are never starved for entertainment. All you have to do is walk down the street and wait for the show to begin. Mind you, some streets are better than others and nights are always better than days. The best show times are any time after three in the morning where you are liable to see or hear just about anything. I tell you that I have produced more than a few shows in the past and I have no doubt that I have more than a few more good ones in my future. But this isn't about me, not today anyway.

       This is all about some of the things heard while walking the streets of this not so fair metropolis.  I'm going to tell you that I'm not prone to eavesdropping per say, but if you're walking down the street and I can hear you talking, I'm gunna to listen. . . 

Retail Therapy Soothes Even the Most Troubled Upper East Side Soul

     "I know, but I was at a funeral all day...Yeah, it was sad, but I really didn't know him at all...The saddest thing was seeing his daughters upset. They're the same ages as--Wow! This shirt is only $19!! You can't even buy a freaking Frappuccino for $19! I'm getting it in blue."

See what I mean? Oh the humanity!

Wednesday One-Liners Enter a Persistent Vegetative State

      "You've had way too much cock in your mouth to be vegan."

How do you recover from a line like that?

Wednesday One-Liners Join the Jet Set 

 

      " In the event of a loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will be released from the overhead above your seat. After the screaming subsides, please place the oxygen mask around your nose and mouth. If you are traveling with a child or an adult who is acting like a child, place your mask on first before attempting to help put theirs on."

Even when you try to leave  they get you.

I'm Gonna Tell The Dick You Said That

 
    " So then he wanted me to go down on him and I said, "OK." He pulls down his pants, and let me tell you, girl, I could not stop laughing."

Neither could I

      So the next time you come to New York City plan on staying up late, get a comfortable seat and keep your ears open!